Thoughts on my job.

I haven’t written anything in my blog recently because I’ve been depressed. My job, which for several years has been the best one I have ever had, has not been nearly as enjoyable lately. It’s a long story and I won’t go into it. The interesting thing is that it is still the best job I’ve ever had, even if it isn’t half as good as it was. I don’t know if that’s a testimonial to the job or an indictment of the previous ones I’ve had.

I sell advertising on the back of weekly church bulletins, primarily Catholic churches, in Indiana and Kentucky, with an occasional trip to Illinois. I go to a different church every week and use their office to call businesses in the area to place an ad on the bulletin. There are usually anywhere from 40 to 120 spaces for ads on the bulletin. They cost from $300 to $495 per year. It is not a small business. The good part is that as I am calling from the church I don’t encounter the hostility the normal sales person would. I still encounter the same rejection. One thing I have always found ironic is that I am a man of Jewish descent selling Catholic products in Baptist country. It must work though…I celebrated my seven year anniversary this week.

As I sell for churches, I have to be very careful in the types of businesses I call on. I can’t have strip clubs or abortion clinics as advertisers. I have a policy for example that I will not allow bars to advertise unless they also serve food. This once led to one of the funnier incidents I’ve had in my job. I was in Kansas City one week working at a Catholic church and was having a miserable week. I was getting rejected at a higher rate than I have in quite awhile. I called a bar listed in the yellow pages and got hold of the owner. I went through my pitch about the benefits of church bulletin advertising. After I finished he told me he was not interested as he didn’t think his business was appropriate for a Catholic church. Frustrated, I asked why. He told me that it was a gay bar. Undaunted by any religious reservations, I boldly inquired, “Do you serve food?”…didn’t sell him an ad.

My very favorite experience in my job though was different in nature. I was working at a very small Catholic church in a Kentucky town right along the Tennessee border. Sometimes when I work at really small churches they will meet me on Monday morning, give me a key, and then come by on Thursday afternoon to pick it up. I will be the only one at the church. This particular church was so small that it had the church proper and just a combination office and confessional in a room off of it. I was working in the room one afternoon when a young woman came in. She wanted to have her confession heard and, mistaking me for the priest, was hoping I could hear it. I was taken by surprise, but for a second I must admit that the idea of role playing was very interested. The pervert in me wanted to say, “Now tell me all about the things you’ve done…make sure you don’t leave out ANYTHING.” The Jew in me felt like saying, “Listen, we’re having a special…one sin for one Hail Mary, five sins for three Hail Mary’s”. Fortunately the sane part of me took hold and I told her how to contact the priest.